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Writer's pictureJen Laws

When Giving Can be Harmful


There is something about being in the presence of a stage full of Tibetan Buddhist Monks. It is hard not to feel calm, feel their inner joy and contentment, and vow to bring that state of being into your daily life.


I attended a presentation at our local school hall, recently, and found myself wandering off in thought. I couldn’t imagine a monk would raise a voice, run late for school drop off, negotiate squabbling siblings from attack, scurry around packing 100 odd tasks in before weaving through traffic to make a work meeting, and all that before 9am.


It is easy then for me to rationale their serenity to not having the daily demands and responsibilities of motherhood. The inner state of a Buddhist Monk does feel like a beautiful way of being, but somehow untouchable?


I find though, that their teachings are so relevant. I am reminded that

We have a responsibility for our own energy and by doing so we raise the energy around us. By being calm you affect those around you, and another is less likely to attack you. So not only do you save yourself, but you save the other person from doing harm. Karma is helped for both of you.

On the flip side, when you are stressed, you create tension around you, and immediately bring down the energy of family, friends, co-workers, even strangers. It is exuded in your spoken word, emails, in your physical presence.

It can literally pollute the world.’


So next time my kids are fighting, not sleeping, struggling with their emotions, struggling with school, not well, upset or just not themselves, I will take the opportunity to look at how calm or stressed I am and how that may be impacting on others, events and situations around me.


There is a level of responsibility on what I am giving out. I am not at fault, I am not a victim, but empowered to make a difference.


There is something to that age-old saying “happy wife, happy life”. When we focus on our own happiness, tune into our emotional state and bring conscious awareness to our internal state of affairs, we can choose what we are giving out and see that reflected back through our relations with others.


Honor yourself ladies, raise your vibration and you make not only yourself a magnet for well-being, but of those around you.


Now that is empowering and uplifting.


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Until then…be Zen

Jennifer Laws

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